Riding Out My Humiliation Until I Find My Kanye

Before I get into the next date, I thought I’d just clear some stuff up. So if you’re here because you were linked through a news site and don’t know me in real life, you will see that my blog accidentally went viral. By accidentally, I mean a journalist found my last name, took a photo from my instagram (which, admittedly, was public. My bad!) then posted the blog overnight. I probably wasn’t prepared for it to go actually viral otherwise I would have fought harder to have my last name removed and edited more of the grammar on this blog. I said to the journalist who had contacted me at 5.30pm the night before that “It’d be good to have my last name removed just so I can get another job in the future etc etc”. Sadly, it was already off to print and my face was planted on the front page when I woke up the next morning. I was stressed and freaking the night this happened so naturally, I called my ex-boyfriend of three years just so I could be reminded that I wasn’t a big deal, that I was overreacting and that it’ll blow over by the end of the day. Nothing like some inspirational pep talk from your ex ( who came in handy when I needed reminding that no one actually cares about my life).

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Thanks, for once I actually needed that reassurance.

Then the day after the first story was released, it happened again but with a follow up story. I had an over the phone conversation with the journalist who was nice but I wasn’t really concentrating on what I was saying as it was 6pm on a Friday night. Remind me to be a bit clearer in the future, but what people probably don’t realise is that I am very well aware and I agree that my life, let alone my dating life isn’t ‘news’ but the story would have gotten enough clicks on the first day that the editor probably wanted to follow it up with a second story. I was just rolling with the punches at this point.

I got a private message from an Australian journalist who asked me a few questions for their website. I agreed since I thought it would be the same story and if I knew about it and was kind of interviewed, surely it would be okay? I actually really liked the article posted, but the comments blew up and people were so outraged by a social experiment “done for the lols of my friends and family” that you would have thought that I had committed a crime ( I did it seems, it was for being a talentless whore). That article is the one that went viral and I had even joked on the Friday to my colleagues that “You’re nobody until the Daily Mail covers it”.

People started accusing me of being self-obsessed and over the weekend I probably have been and that is a reaction to when your dating blog which remember, was initially written for friends and family goes kinda viral. If I injected a bit more insecurity in my posts or if my cleavage wasn’t as prominent in the pictures then perhaps people would have found something else to be mean about. Truth is, this wasn’t meant to be a ground-breaking blog. I said something about this in the beginning about not trying to invent the wheel, for those who bothered to read that far back. You’re damned if you don’t have self-esteem issues and you’re damned if you do.

My teeth are apparently too big for people’s liking, which was probably one of my favourite hate comments. I rung my Mother hungover on Sunday morning declaring that I spent 24 years being insecure about the wrong thing on my face!  It truly was a revelation. Thank you internet!

The internet also assumed that I slept with all 30 dates.

Not that everyone really needs to know this but I’ll put simply this into bullet points so that it’s clear cut for those who are deeply concerned that I gave out some STD’s during 30 days of Tinder.

  • During 30 days of Tinder, I didn’t sleep with, or have sex with any of them… on the first date.
  • During 30 days of Tinder, I went on second and third dates with some of the 30, which weren’t blogged about as I only wrote about the first date.
  • I went on 44 dates in 28 days.
  • I slept with one of the 30 dates, but it wasn’t on the first date.

Can a woman not have sex before she’s married still? Even though most of the 30 knew about the blog before it was posted and were fine with it as they weren’t having their identities revealed, I’m still the talentless irrelevant, self-obsessed nobody who was trying to get my 15 minutes of fame by going on 30 dates of Tinder in 30 days.

So anyway, this would have been a pleasant experience if I was getting paid for the hate and not my small, irrelevant blog on the internet to get cherry picked for someone to make ground-breaking conclusions about the ‘kind of girl I am’. The truth is that no one really cares, but they care enough to feel enraged about or comment about something like a dating blog but probably stay silent on the real issues that go on in the world.

Funny that.

 

 

 

 

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117 thoughts on “Riding Out My Humiliation Until I Find My Kanye

  1. I heard about the blog from the media coverage. It made the news in the UK. I clicked on the link and started reading. 3 hours later, at 2am i finished what you’d written so far. It was amazing. Loved the writing. Loved the concept and i especially loved your confidence in yourself despite the highs and lows of the dates so far. Good luck with the rest and i look forward to hearing about the rest of your adventures!

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    1. Thank you Phil! Had I known more people were going to read it I would have done a better job on the grammar front haha! Glad you enjoyed. I’ll update more when I’m back from Argentina next week.

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    1. I could spoil it for you. Or just give you a hint. I go on a date with a guy in a wheelchair, a tall guy who is 7ft and a guy who gets drunk later that day after we meet and tells me how much he misses me.

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  2. Hey Melissa, I’ve loved reading your blog (I think it’s the only blog I’ve ever read). It’s so hilarious and funny because it’s true, being a tinder user myself i can relate. I’ve since recommended your blog to other friends as “a good read.” Forget about the small minded twats who are just disappointed that their own lives are so dull. I think it’s awesome how open and honest you’ve been, it’s pretty gutsy and I commend you.

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  3. Your blog is hilarious Melissa and makes me feel better about my own Tinder disasters…thanks for being so honest with us, please don’t let what happened change the way you write 🙂

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    1. Thanks Arielle! Nope, still unfiltered! I did have to wait a while after the blog got a little famous to wait for it to die down but I’m just currently in Argentina til next week and haven’t been in the mindspace to edit since I’m drunk most nights and sleep in til noon. I’m glad it helps with your tinder disasters. I’d love to hear about yours

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  4. Hey, I just wanted to let you know I’ve really enjoyed reading your blog. I did find it through stuff, but I’ve been checking back every now and again as I thought you have done such a great job on your blog. Hope the media attention dies down soon, as I’d love to hear how the rest of your 30 days went. Ignore the haters. Thanks so much for a awesome read!

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    1. You’re the best. Let’s be friends. I’m in Argentina but there will be more when I’m back (I get back in three days and have been on holiday for two and a half weeks). Thanks for the kind words. I put an update on my 30daysoftinder Facebook page which was made to stop annoying my friends who don’t read the blog but I forget that there’s people on the Internet who only know the blog through the online articles. Thanks for waiting patiently!

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    1. Yes! I am! I just can’t edit the blog as I’m currently in Argentina on holiday til next week. South American wifi makes it impossible to find appropriate gifs (plus I’m drunk most nights and sleep in most mornings)

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  5. Howdy, when do we get more? Been over a month now and I’m demanding my free entertainment! Or have you been given an offer of a book deal or movie and can’t publish anymore?

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    1. Hello. Yes you do. Still free content. I’m not one for selling out (yes I am) but not yet. I’m actually just in Argentina til next Tuesday. Was going to edit one whilst I was over here but Gif-hunting with South American wifi isn’t the greatest. I forget that people on the Internet who read this may no longer be just my friends and family. I’ll update next week 🙂

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